Three who change the Worlds
by GrayHeart
Summary: "Wait I'm in Bleach! Oh for God's sake isn't that a Cliche by now and- Why is Ichigo's mother alive and why is Ichigo saying he was saved by a woman who sounds like a friend of mine?" rated M for swearing, sexual jokes and rambling.
1. Chapter 1

**Three who change the Worlds. Chapter 1**

**Written by: Aoirann**

**Rated: M for because of swearing, sexual jokes, and rambling.**

**Author's Note: **Here I am again actually writing a fan fiction. I really need to work on my other ones. Anyway I am here collaborating with my friend _**Grayheart **_to make this. Actually this chapter was supposed to be done months ago but I never got around to it and slacked off. Word of warning… This is a self-insert fic with three self inserts and the chapters will be written by other people so there will be changes in writing style depending on who is doing the writing. If you wanted you could sat that this is an expansion of my much earlier and as a gift story _If I was a Shinigami_. At least the last part. Anyway without any further delays enjoy.

* * *

(? POV)

"Triumvirate check in!" I heard over the radio. Our Commanding Officer Or CO was asking for a Situation Report or SITREP. "Fire in position! Hell it feels like I've been in position for years now!" I heard a female voice reply over the radio.

"Lightning in position! Though I'm confused at what I'm supposed to be doing." I heard a somewhat confused male voice over the radio. I hit the button and replied.

"Ice nearly in position. Sorry but I got hung up in traffic." Even in a serious situation I still joke.

"Alright listen up!" The CO started to go into lecture mode. "Right now you three are the best hope to prevent a lot of tragedy from happening. There will be losses but a lot less then what would happen otherwise. Now when I give the order you three begin the operation understand?"

"Roger!" "Got it!" "Understood!" was our reply.

"Alright. On the count of three the operation begins. One! Two! BZZZZZZ!

* * *

"Ack!" I screamed and crashed to the floor. I remember muttering "Stupid carpet does nothing to cushion the floor." I picked myself up, made my way to my buzzing alarm clock and shut it off. I did question why I got static since I usually have the station set to MPR. Let me tell you it's odd to have your radio alarm clock set to a news station when you're a deep sleeper. It creeps into your dreams and then you have surreal dreams about politicians. Nothing like Obama having tea on the back of a Llama, to confuse you when you wake up. Speaking of waking up, that tumble made me fully awake. Adrenaline will do that to a person. Deciding that I won't even bother trying to get back to sleep I got my glasses from my dresser and left my room. As I entered into the living room something was nagging at the back of my head. Like something wasn't quite right with my surroundings. I checked out the window to make sure there weren't any bulldozers heading towards me to tear down the house for a highway bypass. I chuckled a bit to myself at my Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy joke and headed to the kitchen for breakfast. I found some leftover pizza in the fridge and started to eat when it kicked in. I nearly choked on the pizza in shock, spat that out, and ran back to the window to make sure I saw that right.

When I looked out the window I notice a few things that were wrong. The first thing that I noticed was wrong was that a man wasn't picking up after his dog and then walking away. The second thing that I noticed was the fact I was about few stories up. I've lived in a ground floor house with a basement for the last sixteen-seventeen years. Even then when I was a toddler I lived in a basement apartment. Never in my life have I ever lived in a above ground apartment. The third thing that was wrong was the fact that the view was completely wrong. I was definitely not in any suburb or part of the Twin Cities. Hell I wasn't even in any part of the United States. I was in Japan. My tip-offs? One was I, being the Otaku that I was, could recognize the architecture of a typical Japanese suburb. The second and much more compelling argument was the fact that all the writing was in Japanese characters. As a side note I found out that if I concentrated a bit I could suddenly understand what they said, though it took a second. This was around the time that I started to panic. I thought this in rapid succession 'OHDEARGODWHATIAMIDOINGINJAPAN! HOWDIDIGETHERE? WHYAMIHERE? OHGODHOWAMIGETTINGBACK!'

My panic fuelled thoughts were suddenly stopped by a knocking on the door. I stared at it. The knocking got louder and a string of scenarios started going through my mind. The police were here to arrest me for breaking and entering. The Yakuza wanted to have a few 'words' with me breaking into one of their safe houses. A serial killer has here to murder me. An Amway salesman was here to start a Japanese branch. Each scenario was worst then the last. I slowly made my way to the door. As I got there the knocking was now a steady pounding and over it I heard a male voice shout "Come on! We're going to be late!" I recognized that voice. I remember praying "Dear God please tell me that I'm in a normal suburb of Tokyo and that's only Johnny Yong Bosch pounding on my door and not the alternative!" I opened my door. God didn't answer my prayer.

Standing in front of my door was Ichigo Kurosaki in his school uniform. The red-headed hero of Bleach. Next to him was Orihime Inoue in her uniform. The red-headed love interest of the hero and primary character. I think that was when I went into a form of shock. 'This can't be true!' I remember telling myself. 'They're fictional characters.' That's about as far as I got in my denial as Ichigo grabbed me by the shirt and said, "About time! We're going to be late for class." It's rather hard to deny the existence of something when it's throttling you.

Ichigo then turned to Orihime and asked "Why couldn't the teacher asked you to make sure he got here in time? You live next to him." Orhime shrugged and smiled. Looking back it was because the fact her crush was next to her and not the fact I'm being yelled at. Ichigo then yanked my shirt and started to drag me out of my apartment. I heard the click of the door closing and then I was dragged down the stairs.

I must of zoned out due to confusion since the next thing I know we're in front of a school and my shirt is rather stretched out. "Wha-?" was all I managed to get out before I started to get shoved.

"Come on! We're lucky that the bell hasn't rung yet!" The next thing a know is a blur of wood and white paint. Looking back it was the interior decoration of the school. Japanese schools need to learn of the little thing called primary colors. Anyway the next thing I knew after that was that I was standing in a classroom with everyone in the classroom staring at me. I looked down. I'll admit I looked rather out of place in a now slightly stretched out green t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and hiking boots. I'm just lucky I seemed to be so tired last night that I went to sleep with my clothes and shoes on.

"Orihime!" I hear a female voice shout out. I looked in the direction where it came from. There was a blur racing from the back of the class. At first I thought it was Tatsuki, but the red hair gave it away and told me it was Chizuru, Orihime's red headed lesbian stalker. 'Okay seriously what is with Tite Kubo and red hair? Ichigo, Orihime, Chizuru, Renji, and someone else that I'm probably forgetting.'

Anymore idle thought were knocked out of me, metaphorically and almost literally, when Chizuru crashed into me. Before I could recover she had already thrown her arms around me and was snuggling into my stomach while happily muttering "Orhime..." Apparently she thought that I was Orihime. 'Because we all know it's rather easy to mistake a 6'2''(6'3'' on a good day), rather overweight, brown haired American for a 5'6'' red headed, busty, Japanese schoolgirl. Everyone always makes that mistake. In fact as least once a week people come up to me and ask if I know that I look just like Orihime.'

I looked over at Ichigo and Orhime for help. Ichigo was scowling, (Of course when wasn't he?) and he was rubbing his fore head in frustration. Orihime had a rather apologetic look on her face that seemed to say "Sorry about this." Around this point Chizuru stopped snuggling my stomach with a confused look on her face. Something told me that she had just realized that something was wrong. That something was proven wrong when she opened her mouth. "Orihime have you gained weight? Oh well. More of you to love." She went back to snuggling and God help me was making cooing sounds.

At this point an idea popped into my head. That idea was then rejected for being inappropriate and could get me arrested. Another idea then popped into my head and I went with it. The (second) idea was how I usually greeted my friends. I wrapped my arms around Chizuru, gave he a bear hug, and picked her up off the ground. Seeing as how I could do this to a fully grown man of Nordic decent (If hurting my back in the process) doing the same to a Japanese schoolgirl was rather easy. Now onto step two. "I can't wait for use to get married and have a million beautiful children together, and then for us to get old, and for you to get Alzheimer's and only know me as 'The Nice Man' and-" I was cut off my Chizuru's struggling and was repeatedly hitting me in the face with her hands. I let and go and she landed on her feet and started running out the door while screaming that she had been touched by a boy and now needed disinfectant. As her screaming faded into the background I heard a snort of laughter. Following the sound I found that Chad had been the one to laugh, who was knowing trying to cover it off with a cough. Then, as if on cue, the entire classroom started to laugh. Well everyone but Ichigo, who scowled, and I swear that one day his face will freeze like that., and... you know... the guy with the glasses? The Qunicy? 'Goddamn it why did I have to get dumped in Bleach. Most of what I know about the show is from reading the first few volumes, hearsay, catching the odd episode and Tvtropes. I mean I don't even know the entire main cast let alone all the secondary characters. I only know most of the 13 captains by their nicknames, why couldn't I have been dropped off in Naruto. I know that plot back and forth, front to back, up and down, and I made my point Tales of Symphonia? I know everyone's backstory and their buttons so I could easily mess with everyone's head. Hell I would take Death Note. One email to L. Lawlett email address and done.' I must have been staring this whole time with my rant since the Quincy was glaring at me.

'Ishida! That's his name. Who names their secret hollow fighting organization Quincy anyway? That's the name of a President or something you would name your iguana.' I was broken out of one of my countless mental tangents by someone coming into my field of vision. It was Tatsuki, Orihime's athletic best friend. Also why do I keep describing like that?

"Thanks for dealing with Chizuru. She's been a real pain. By the way I'm Tatsuki. Orihime's best friend." 'GET OUT OF MY HEAD!' Anyway I stared to introduce my self. "Apparently I'm the new kid.' I said while gesturing towards Ichigo. "Anyway my name is-" I got interrupted by the bell ringing, and the homeroom teacher coming into the room. "Does anyone know why Chizuru ran by me screaming how she has been soiled and now is unclean?" The entire class started to snicker at that and I grumbled "I might not have been able to take a shower today yet but I don't smell that bad." At that the teacher then looked at my and asked "What are you doing here?"

I pointed at Ichigo and said, "Why don't you ask Captain Grumpy over there?" The teacher then turned to Ichigo and asked him "Why dd you bring him here?"

"You told me to make sure that he got here on time!" Ichigo said in a exasperated tone of voice. Exasperated is the tone of voice your parents take when they ask why did you just to that stupid thing you just did.

" I said next week! He was suppose to get the weekend to adjust!"

"You never said that . You just said that I was to make sure that he was here! On Time! Besides why me? Orhime literally lives next door to him!"

"WHAT!" A feminine scream of outrage was heard from the window. Everyone looks and see that Chizuru was in the window. "You mean to tell me that this vile male is living next door to the sweet and perfect Orihime?"

"Love you too." I sarcastically muttered under my breath. "Aren't we on the third floor." That was a rare moment of insight from one of Ichigo's friends. You know, the stupid one. 'Keigo! That's his name.' Anyway at the statement Chizuru got a look of realization and horror on her face. The same look that someone gets when they just realized what they just stepped in. The laws of Gravity and of Comedy then kicked in and Chizuru fell three stories to her death. No, not really. She did however fall three stories into some bushes though... I just realized that I made a rather tasteless pun there. I apologize.

"Anyway" the teacher said in an attempt to get things back on track.

"You might of heard that we were getting an exchange student next week."

"Why do we to do that?" A voice cut off the teacher. It was Keigo.

"We already have Chad." Keigo then gestured towards Chad. Chad caught me looking and gave a little wave signaling that he was Chad.

"Despite Chad being of Mexican Heritage he is a natural born citizen so that means he doesn't raise the school's budget like having a foreign exchange student does. And since there has been more expenses this year the school had to find some way to increase the budget." At that last statement Tatsuki, Ichigo, Chad, and Orihime all decided to become amateur flooring and ceiling inspectors. I heard Keigo say "How was I suppose to know that was the emergency shut off for the pool! The thing wasn't even marked!" The teacher continued. "Anyway due to a miscommunication our exchange student is starting a week early."

"I have a name you know." I said a bit louder then I meant to and the teacher overheard.

"Sorry. It's been an odd day and it's only 8 o'clock." 'It not that much weirder then my college. I mean one day I walked by a bunch of paramedics and cops helping out someone who collapsed while carrying a bloody 2by4. "Anyway classes this is our foreign exchange student." I did a short nod.

"His name is Adam Tenpenny." 'Okay hold on a second. That's not my name. That's my pen name." I started to correct her. "I'm-" I then stopped myself. 'I can't correct her on this. I would look crazy... Well crazier if I started to insist that I was a different name then what any records here would show.' I decided to play it safe and not insist that I was called something else. Thankfully the teacher thought I was just being shy and continued on.

"He is from the state of Minnesota in the United States. So he is an American." 'USA, USA, USA,' "He is living with relatives since his family died in a car crash ten years ago." At that I nearly burst out laughing. It was so ridiculous. 'The last thing I remember before waking up here is my mom telling me to turn off the lights when I go to bed. The memory before that was my dad saying he was going to bed after he got down watching MST3K. The memory before that was my two younger siblings annoying me. So no my parents weren't violently and quickly killed in a car crash.' I had zoned out since I found that the teacher was looking at me with a apologetic look on her face.

"Sorry I shouldn't have mentioned that."

"It's okay." 'Of course it's okay since they're not really dead.' A silence fills the air. I decided to break it.

"Can I sit down?" 'Geeze that's not awkward at all.' "Sure. There's an empty desk next to Tatsuki." I made my way to the desk and sat down.

At this point the teacher decides to start the lesson. I tried to listen in but I'm in college right now. The equivalent to sophomore year is not going to be challenging at all for me. So I started to drift off with my own thoughts. I had several rather pressing one. 'The first of which is how did I get here? I mean one night I go to sleep and I wake up in Japan. Sounds like I went on a bender the night before but I can't even drink let alone actually try to get drunk. Hate the stuff. I could blame it on sleep walking except that I don't do that. Even if I did it would still not explain why I'm right now at the beginning of Bleach. Did I accidentally fall down the rabbit hole into Katakura Town? Is this all a dream? Then there is the fact that I can seven communicate. I can understand, speak, read, and... can I write?' I paused in my thought and wrote down a quick word "Hello " No good it was in English. Then another idea popped into my head. I wrote down the same word but while thinking to write in Japanese. I wrote こんにちは. 'Seems like as long as I will it to be written in Japanese I can. That just raises more questions. One is that I wrote it like I would in English. Second is that how can I? I have problems with English as it is. The only reason I passed Spanish in High School was that the Teacher liked me and say that I was struggling. How does a person like me know perfect Japanese without an accent.' I sighed and stopped that line of thinking. I wasn't going to get anywhere without any more proof. My thoughts then turned to another subject. " Why are my parents dead in this Universe? I mean sure we've had our problems with each other but what family doesn't? I definitely wouldn't had my family hurt let alone dead. So why are they dead? Wait... Sonofa... That's why. Convenient Orphan. It means that I can get into any number of fights or weird events without any parental figures to intervene or wonder where I disappeared to for the last few weeks. It's practically a staple of Anime to have the parents either missing or dead. I mean when I went to Anime Detour 2010 we had a panel called "So your mom's dead and your dad's missing." It talked about how in most anime this type of scenario tended to crop up. So that means that there isn't going to be anyone or anything that's going to stop me from getting involved in the events of Bleach. So whatever brought me here is setting it up so that I help. Though why did they have to kill off my family? I'm 19. I'm legally an adult so I don't have to answer to my parents legally. Then again officially in this world I'm probably 15 or 16 so I would legally have to.' I started to rub my head in frustration. 'Why am I here? What can a really out of shape and overweight 19 year old to with no training do in this Universe that no one else can? Even Hanataro could overpower me since at the very least he has a weapon and has training with it. I mean the only thing that I have that no one else has it that I know how the...plot...goes... Son of a Bitch. Is that what I'm suppose to do? Stop Aizen's plans cold since I know what he's going to do? How can I derail them?' I started to think rather hard. 'The Hōgyoku. Most, if not all, of Aizen's plans depend on him getting his hands on that one stone. I need to keep him from getting it. Right now it's still in Rukia so I need to keep her from being coming declared a traitor.' I paused. 'That's going to be harder then it looks. I need to either keep her from being turned in to a human, which I can't since that means Ichigo won't become a Shinigami and Orihime and Chad won't get their powers and Ichigo is one of the strongest fighters and immune to Aizen's illusions so we need him. Sorry Rukia but I need to let that happen. The other way would be for me to some how get Soul Society to think she is dead. I'll have to come to that bridge when I come to it.' At this point I hear the school bell chime. 'Next class already?' I look around and see that I'm very wrong. Judging from everyone getting up and packing their stuff, and the fact it was now evening it wasn't time for the next class. It was time to go home.

"I zoned out for the entire school day?" I was so shocked that I spoke out loud.

"Yeah. You were pretty out of it. We tried to get your attention but nothing we did would get your attention." I turned and found that Tatsuki has talking to me. Suddenly by shoulder started to hurt and I rubbed it. Tatsuki looked sheepish.

"We really started to worry. So I punched you a couple of times and you barely reacted. Keigo said one of us should take off our shirt to get your attention and-"

"He got punched too?" I asked "Yep. So why did you zone out like that?"

"I was trying to figure out how I got from America to Japan. I have no memory from of how I got here." Tatsuki got a confused look on her face. "How do you not remember how you got here? Unless the Jet lag affecting you that badly."

"Judging from the way the boxes in your apartment were I'm thinking we should go with the Jet lag idea." I looked slightly to my left. Turns out Ichigo decided to join the conversation. "What do you mean?" Tatsuki asked. "There were boxes scattered every where. The closer they got to the door the more disorganized they were. So I figure that a person that's rather jet lagged would get more more disorganized as sleep deprivation got worse." And Ichigo proves that he is one of the smartest kids in the High School. I look at him and said "You're like a red-headed Sherlock Homes. Except without the cocaine addiction and misogyny." I then rubbed my chin. "Though in your case it's more misanthropy." Ichigo rolled his eyes "I don't hate people so much as they annoy me."

"Everything always annoys you. At least as long as I've known you." Tatsuki had decided to chime in. "Well you've always been short as long as I've known you too."

As they started to bicker I started to make my way to the door. Thankfully I didn't have anything to pack so I didn't have to wast time by doing that. I had just managed to get to the door before I realized a small flaw in my master plan. I had no idea where my apartment was. The reason for this was the fact I was literally dragged from it by Ichigo. 'Crap how am I suppose to get back?' I sighed and turned back.

"Hey Ichigo? Can you walk me home? I have no idea how to get back since you dragged me here." Ichigo stopped fighting with Tatsuki and scowled. No surprise there. "Sorry but I have to run some errands for my mom before I get home. Other wise my dad is going yell at me saying "How could you make your poor crippled mother do all those errands? Do you have no shame boy?" This is despite the fact that she hasn't need a walker in five years and a cane in two. I mean she does have a limp but it not enough to really slow here down." Ichigo gets a look on his face were he just realized that he been going on a tangent.

"Anyway Orihime lives right next door to you you could ask her." Ichigo then started to get his things together and pack them. He then left while grumbling under his breath, something about his dad, and-'Wait did he say mom! I thought that she died when Grand Fisher ate her? I mean I suddenly appear here and and now Ichigo's mom is still alive? What else has been changed? Is Aizen not really the bad guy? Does Rukia's drawing not suck so much now? Is Kenpachi going to open a chain of Fried Chicken stands called Kenpachi Fried Chicken?'

At this point I felt a tugging sensation in my sleeve. I looked over. It was Orihime, who was smiling. "You needed someone to walk you home?" I nodded my head and asked "Is he always that grumpy?" I knew the answer but I had to ask to keep up appearances that I'm the new kid, and not some weird trans-dimensional voyeur. "Yes we is but he means well." Orihime said rather cheerfully. Then her eyes started to glaze over. 'She's having one of her daydreams. If I know her 3...2...1' "LOOK OUT HE"S GOT A RAY-GUN!" 'Right on cue.' Orihime then looked at me and stated to blush. "Well she's embarrassed. I could choice to 1. Make fun of her 2. Ignore it. I choose C. Non of the above. " It's set to Flange Mode! Take evasive maneuvers!" I chose to play along. I grabbed her arm and I ran out the door. We ran down stairs, and stopped for Orihime to change her shoes. Never understood that. I mean sure it saves times with cleaning but it's rather hard on student's family finances since they have to buy two sets of shoes for school. Especially since their growing so you have to keep buying new shoes. Anyway after that we walked the way to the apartment but while still keeping up the goofy behavior.

"Oh no! We're doomed!"

"Don't worry! Captain Grumpy is here to save the day with his gigantic sword and constantly scowling face!"

Eventually we got to the apartment. "Thanks for walking me home." I thanked her. "No problem." She cheerfully responded. I turned the knob. *Rattle Rattle*... "Orihime?"

"Yes?"

"Ichigo dragged me out of my apartment when I didn't have my keys didn't he?"

"Yes."

"And the door locked behind me didn't it?"

"Yes." ... "Is the apartment manager's office open right now?"

"He's on vacation. He gets back next week."

"I see." ... "Orihime?" "Yes?"

"Can I Sleep on your couch tonight?" "Yes."

"Are you going to keep saying yes?" "No."

"Funny." "Yes."

After a while we got done with the whole yes routine she let me into her apartment. That was rather trusting. I mean from her perspective she barely knows me for all she knows I could rape her in her sleep. Of course I know me and the worst I'll do is use up all the toilet paper, accidentally break something, and accidentally wake her up in the middle of the night trying to get to the bathroom. Even then I never did all three in the same night. Then again is I suppose that it would be in her character to invite a person that got locked out of their apartment to spend the night in her apartment. A nice if kinda of naive thing to do.

"That's my brother Sora." 'What? Were did that come from?' I then realized that I had zoned out while staring at a picture of her brother. I tend to do that a lot. Zone out while not even knowing what I was staring at. "I see." "He died when I was only nine."

"What about your parents?" 'You complete and utter moron! You know exactly what her parents are and what they did! You are the stupidest man to ever have lived and not die because he forgot to breathe.' Orihime got really sad at that part.

"My brother ran away from our parents when he was eighteen and he brought me with him. i was only three."

"I'm sorry." 'Sorry for being a complete moron and not watching my mouth.' Orihime then jerks up.

"What"

"I just realized I haven't prayed in months to him." 'Need to stop her from crying.' "No time like the present right?" Orihime looked a little happier.

"You're right." She went to the memorial and started to pray. I always have found Religion fascinating. I was raised Catholic and I am legally an ordinated minister (Don't ask. Really. Don't) but I never really picked a religion or became an Atheist. However religion has always been rather fascinating to me and I love researching new religions. Shintoism is rather nifty. Unlike most religions there are no holy books, no founder, no ways of living your life, or any governing body for holy men. Also to qualify as a Shintoist all you have to do is participate in one ritual. So you can be a practicing Christian or what ever your religion of choice is. Then their is Buddhism. In Japan all funerals and burials are handled by any Buddhist monks. There is a saying about religion in Japan. A man is Shintoist when is a kid. Christian when he gets married. And Buddhist when he dies. The Christian is because all marriage ceremonies are done in a Christian tradition. This means it like every single wedding you've been too. Unless your Jewish. In that case it mostly like any wedding you've been to. However any more of my impromptu and probably wrong lecture about Japanese religion got sidetracked when Orihime started to cry. "I just miss you so much." I went over to her and started to to rub her back and tried to comfort her.

"It's okay. We've all been there." Actually I haven't. Sure I've lost people that I've loved but not in a sudden way. 'The only two time were due to lifetime poor health and late stage cancer respectively. So we had time to come to terms and say what we needed to. I've never lost anyone in a car crash or any other sudden incidents. And even if I had I wouldn't have had to carry them several dozen yards to the nearby clinic and- Oh dear god this is depressing. It's a miracle Orihime is so well adjusted as she is. I mean now I would be rather badly traumatized if I had to carry someone to a nearby clinic as they died and I'm nineteen, not nine. Probably helps that she had such a good friend in Tatsuki to help her recover.' As I got lost in my rant Orihime started to calm down.

"Thank you." I looked down. "You're welcome. It's hard on everyone." Orihime gave a sad smile. "I know but thanks anyway." Her mood then turned a 180 degrees and she then exuberantly exclaimed "Now it's time for dinner!" She then punctuated this statement but punching the air. Normally this wouldn't be a problem but seeing as I was standing next to her I caught the punch in my jaw.

The next thing I remember after that was sitting on her couch with an ice pack under my chin , her apologizing furiously, and me insisting that I'm fine. After awhile when we all calmed down (or recovered from ah ard uppercut. She may not look like it but she has one hell of an uppercut.) we managed to eat dinner. She was generous enough for me to have some. The problem? You know the scene where she's talking about having leeks and red bean paste? You know the one where the whole leek spin comes from? Turns out that's not the first time she had and tonight was apparently red bean paste and leek night. I didn't want to be rude so I tried it. I found out the leek really brought out the red ban paste. Or I could say that and be a bald faced liar. I couldn't really taste the leek at all since there pretty much onions but with a much milder taste and the red bean paste blotted it out. For anyone else this wouldn't be a problem but I can't really eat red bean paste. I just can't sallow it. so I wound up just staring at my plate.

"Is there a problem?" I looked up. "Sorta. I just don't really like red bean paste." Orihime apologizes "Oh I'm sorry I didn't-" I cut her off "It's find I'm imposing enough as is-" I had put my hands in my pocket and found something. I pull it out. It was my wallet. "I have my wallet but not my keys? Figures." I started to ruffle through it to see what had followed me. I found that I had my drivers licence even though it said I was Adam Tenpenny and sixteen. I was rigth about the whole that all the paperwork says I'm Adam Tenpenny. Also I found my credit card. Same number but under Adam Tenpenny. Also I found that I had cash for once. Though it wasn't the green currency of Us dollars bills. They were brown notes. "Apparently I already got my convert converted... I mean I got my money converted." I also see that my stumbling over words seems to cross the language barrier quite nicely. I counted the bills. About fifteen. I then noticed the number on them. ¥10000. I did then math in my head for the current exchange rate that I could remember. About 80 yen to the dollar since it gained strength recently so that means... ¥150000/80 equals... Jesus Mary Joesph! I had around 1875 dollars in my wallet! I looked at Orihime. "Do you want pizza?"

Later after ordering ("Look. If you want red bean paste on your pizza that bad we can order a cheese and you can put it on when it gets here.") delivery (and tipping the delivery guy an entire nights wage) eating the pizza and then making little forts from the boxes (Never order food when you're hungry and have a lot of money to burn. We had enough to keep us fed for the week.) we were rather tired. I set up the couch and laid down on it. "You need anything?" Orihime asked. "Maybe a time machine to tell our past selves not to order so much pizza?" We both look at the pizza box fortress. Thankfully we manage to get all the uneaten pizza in Orihime's fridge. "Good night." "Night." She turned out the light and went to bed. I turned over and closed my eyes.

Sometime later I found myself wide awake. I sighed and got up. I grabbed my glasses off the table in front of the couch and started to walk around. I then noticed something was odd.

"Why isn't there any light coming in from the windows?" I made my way to the closest window. It was pitch black out. There wasn't any street lights, or car lights, or any type of light. It was just black as far as the eye could see. 'Wait there's something white out there. Huh it kinda looks like a mask-' "Oh Shit." I dived out of the way from the window right before it erupted in a shower of glass and wood shrapnel. I got showered with it but no where as much as I would have if I hadn't gotten out f the way. I then started to desperately look for a weapon. I just grabbed the table and awkwardly held it in front of me. Also in front of me was a Hollow. I didn't have a good time to look at it before I was suddenly picked up rather violently. I quickly looked behind myself. "Two hollows? That's cheating!" All that got was some unholy laughter from the hollow holding me and it then opened its' mouth and I suddenly went forward into it and-

* * *

"Ahh!" *THUD!* I was on the ground. I was looking around for any Hollows looking to eat my face. I was so occupied looking for them that I barely registered the fact that there was a sound of running footsteps. If I had noticed that I wouldn't have been looking at the light fixture when the footsteps stopped and the light turned on.

"AHH! Bright light!"

"You okay!" I managed to find the source of the sound despite the spots in my eyes. It was Orihime standing over me with concern in her eyes. Also apparently she had pink pajamas that had little leeks on them. "I'm fine. Just a bad dream that caused me to roll off the couch."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Now if I had hit the coffee table I would have been in trouble. I'm fine now. Just go back to bed."

"Okay." Orhime said that in the tone of voice that says "Are you sure?" Anyway she left my field of vision and the light turned back off. I untangled myself out of the blankets, reset everything on the couch, and laid back down. I just realized that I had woken up Orihime in the middle of the night. Though in this case it wasn't because I needed to go to the bathroom. As I started to drift off again I remember the last thing that I had thought was 'Guess what? It just gets worse from here on.'

* * *

Ending Notes: Well there you go. I don't have anything more to talk about other then I'm writing this for Nanowrimo. So updates should be rather frequent if not the best quality and errors in formatting. See you next chapter.**Please Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Three who will Change the Worlds. Chapter 2 (Electric Boogaloo)**

**Written By: Aoirann (Adam Tenpenny)**

' **means thinking 'I think therefore I- squirrel!'**

" **means talking "That squirrel is rather fat."**

*** means action *Splat!* "Gross."**

**Author's Note: **Well I actually managed to get to chapter two of this. I'm hoping if we can just get to the Rescue Rukia/Soul Society Arc I'll be able to keep a consistent rate of work. I'll be the only one writing for at least a few more chapters until the plot line of Bleach gets started. (**Sorry Grayheart.**) Also I forgot to mention in the last chapter that since I'm medically diagnosed with A.D.D. So all the ramblings are how my mind actually works. So if you want to see what it's like having A.D.D. just read this Fanfiction.

* * *

*Knock Knock* "I don't have school today"

*Knock Knock* "I don't have school today."

*Knock Knock* At the last knock I got up and groped for my glasses. After finding them I started to stumble my way to the door. 'I could have sworn I told dad that I didn't have school today.' I managed to get to the door and I was about to open it to tell my dad I didn't have school. Before I could I felt a tug on my arm and a slight rushing sensation and then it was suddenly dark. "Must still be night," I muttered and went back to sleep.

The next thing I knew after that was that it was suddenly bright, I felt a falling sensation that was suddenly stopped, and a feminine shriek of terror. After a confusing couple of minutes to my sleep addled brain I found myself in front of an embarrassed Orihime and an flustered Tatsuki. "So... Tell me what the hell just happened?"

Okay this is what happened. At least as much as Orihime and Tatsuki are telling me is what happened. Apparently Tatsuki comes every Sunday morning to check up on Orihime and, once making sure that she wasn't hurt herself during the night, they usually go and do something. However today Tatsuki got up early and decided to come early to surprised Orihime. Normally this wouldn't be so bad but since Orihime had a boy (Their words not mine. I consider myself a man since I'm nineteen thank you.) on her couch asleep that would bring up quite a few rather awkward questions. To make matters worse I, in my half-asleep state was going to answer the door. Orihime thinking fast shoved me into the closet ("My gay friends would have a field day with that kind of a set up") and answered the door.

Tatsuki, not being a character from a third-rate sitcom, asked why did she hear a lot of running around and slamming of doors. Orihime then started to deny anything of the sort. One of Orihime's flaws is that she can not lie to save her life. Normally people would say that wasn't a flaw but in this case with people like Aizen the ability to lie is god send. Then there are the times where it's just better to lie then to deal with telling the truth. Anyway Tatsuki knows that Orihime can't lie, and even if she could she could see right through her lies due to how close they are. Around this point she walks in, takes off her shoes, and notices the blankets and pillows on the couch. She then asks about the pillows and blankets. Orihime then says "There wasn't a boy sleeping on the couch!" I remember saying at that point "Orihime you are the worst liar I have ever heard of." At this point Tatsuki just smiles and says "So you finally got the courage and brought Ichigo back to your place huh?" while wiggling her eyebrows. That was the point where Orihime just goes bright red and starts to just sputter and stammer denials about Ichigo being here. At that point my snoring got loud enough to for them to hear through the door. Tatsuki marched to the door and said "Don't you dare hide from this Kurosaki! Take responsibility like a man should!" She then opened the door. Apparently I had leaned against the door as I slept and when Tatsuki yanked it open I fell to the ground in a rather good impression of a dead body. That's also when she screamed but would later denied the fact that she did. "Orihime! You killed the new exchange student and stuffed his body in your closet!" Orihime started to sputter something like a denial. Thankfully before the situation got even more out of hand apparently I had muttered "Trying to sleep."

"Okay now that is out of the way ,what now?" I asked. "Well you can tell me why where you sleeping on my best friends couch who lives alone?" Tatsuki said while glaring at me.

"Okay when you say it like that it sounds a lot worse then it really is. I just got locked out of my apartment and Orihime let me sleep on her couch. In to thank her I ordered pizza for us.' I pointed to the Pizza Box fortress. Tatsuki just looks at it and says. "What the..."

"You know the saying 'don't go grocery shopping while hungry'? Turns out to be true for ordering take-out and having a wallet full of cash. The left overs are in the fridge so help your self." At this Tatsuki just looked at me and muttered "I have to deal with two of them now." She shook her head and said "So were is your apartment?" I pointed to the wall that was closest to my apartment and said "Right over there."

Tatsuki glanced at the wall, then back at me and said, "Oh that's easy." She then started to walk out the door, but not before putting on her shoes , and me and Orihime did the same. Well Orihime did. I just grabbed my boots because of they way you have to tie them it's impossible to put them on in a hurry. We then made our way to my apartment door. ("Aren't your feet cold?" "I go barefoot all the time. I'm fine.") Now we were in front of my door. Tatsuki cracked her knuckles, took a deep breath, and, "HIYAH!" Did a palm strike on the door right above the door knob. Nothing happened after that and, as an afterthought, she kicked the door near the bottom. When she did so an audible click was heard from the door, which then creaked open. She just grinned and said "Door's open." I walked by her mumbling "Thanks Fonzie." I went into the room as she said "Who?" Apparently Happy Days was one of the few things in American Pop Culture that hadn't found its' way to Japan.

I looked around the room and let out a low whistle. I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe Rei's apartment from Evangelion but it wasn't nearly that bad. In fact it was rather nice. Nicer then my home but then again this apartment didn't look like it had three kids living in it for the last fifteen years. I never had hardwood floors before. Do you have to sweep them and then mop them or can you use a vacuum cleaner? My train of thought that had gone off course was derailed by Tatsuki saying "Why are you whistling?"

"Nothing just the apartment is better then my room back home."

"What are you talking about- whoa!" *Thump!* "I'm okay!" We looked back at the door. Orihime had tripped over a cardboard box that was near the door. There was something odd about the box but I never got around to figuring out what because right then I heard an ear splitting yowl. "MEROW!" That was the sound of a cat in distress. "You help up Orihime. I see what that is." I then made my way to where the sound was coming from.

I found that the sound was coming from the apartment's second bedroom. ("I have a second bedroom?") I went into the room. It was a rather nice room. Light lavender wallpaper, more hardwood flooring, a queen size bed also with light lavender sheets, two bedside tables, walk-in closet, and oh yeah, a black cat stuck in the window. Apparently it had been going through the open window and then the window slammed down on it. I quickly went to the window, wrapped one arm around the top half of the cat, opened the window, quickly yanked it out of said window, and then closed it. I was then holding it while stroking it to calm it down. Must be a former house cat or an outdoor cat since it was calming down rather easily and was trying to get out of my grasp. As I finally got the cat to calm down and start purring Orihime and Tatsuki came into the room. Tatsuki looked at the cat and said "So a cat got stuck in a window?"

"Yep. I think either you hitting and kicking the door, or Orihime falling over caused it to fall on him- hold that thought." I then picked up the tail of the cat, this was accompanied by a growl of displeasure from said cat, and I said, "Sorry. Caused the window to close on **her**. It's a female cat."

"How do you know the difference?" I looked at Orihime. 'How can she be so smart yet be so dumb sometimes?' I decided to just tell her. "Because she doesn't have any testicles."

"Oh."

"Hey Adam? I think that the previous tenant left her clothes here." I then looked at what Tatsuki was doing. She was pulling several sets of clothing out of the closet and were holding then up to herself. The current outfit was a black spandex outfit without arms. 'Why does that outfit look so familiar?...Oh for God's sake.' It was Yoruichi's outfit. You know the one that was skin tight on her and that I never saw the real point of wearing it? That one? That was when I also made another revelation. I looked down at the cat in my arms. Well it was a black cat, there are about million of them. However combined with the fact it was female, found in the same apartment room as some of Yoruichi's signature clothing, and the fact that would make my life much too simple of it wasn't her, I had to say that the cat in my arms was Yoruichi in her cat form. As a side note she must of weighted only about 12-15 pounds in this form. Seeing as she would weigh at least 160 pounds in her regular form I can safely say that her transformation defenestrated the law of conservation of mass. Yes I know it says that she only weighs 93 lbs but you can't be that tall, in shape, and... developed with out at least weighing 150 lbs and that's pushing it. Writers tend to forget that muscle weighs a lot more then fat. Anyway Tatsuki brought me out of my internal rant about physics and BMI charts with this question.

"Who wears this kind of stuff?" Tatsuki was holding a pair of low rider jeans, and a black t-shirt with no midriff that said in white text "Make me Purr," I thought 'Well maybe a woman that can transform into a cat, goes naked in public half the time, and likes to tease red-headed teenage boys. Awesome if it's a attractive women in shape that shaves. An overweight 60 year old women? Not so much.' Any way Tatsuki question did draw my attention to the closet. Yoruichi did have a lot more clothing then we never really saw in the show. She seem to have several versions of formal wear in all types. There seemed to be traditional formal wear, ballroom gowns, cocktail dress, a little black dress that ever single woman seems to have, and a baby blue leisure suit in her size. I really wanted to know the store behind that one. I might get the response "The less I think about the 70's the better." If you ignored all that there was still quite a bit of other clothing in there too. I saw her Shinigami robes, her Captains robes, and... was that a Jedi Robe? Apparently Yoruichi was a Star Wars Fan. That wasn't even including all the other casual clothes she had in there. I could have sworn I saw a school girl outfit in there some where. Before I could see anymore Orihime exclaimed "That's a lot of clothing!" 'Why yes Orihime I just thought that.' However what she said next caught me by surprise. "Dress up time!" This was accompanied by her starting to take off her shirt. I quickly left the room at that before I got something thrown at my head. I was now outside the room holding a currently in cat form Yoruichi while hearing protests from Tatsuki that went "Orhime! You're stretching my shirt!". I looked down at Yoruichi and said, "Hungry?" A meow was my reply. "That's really helpful."

After a very short series of steps we were in the kitchen of the apartment. I started to ruffle around in the fridge looking for something to give to a supposed 'cat'. Since she was a human that could turn into a cat I suppose that she could eat anything a human could while in cat form. Never did get around to figuring that out. Most of this food must have been Yoruichi's. I know for a fact that I wouldn't have a jar of red bean paste in the fridge. Or the wasabi. Or the pickled pig feet. Or the Natto. I would have the pizza box though, and the giant thing of microwavable pork buns. After a while I found a gallon (3.78 liters) of milk. I then had to scrounge around for a bit to find a bowl that she could drink out of. When I did I put the bowl on the floor and poured a little bit of milk in there. Yoruichi then started to drink out of it. I then realized that I should be surprised at the food so I to cover for it.

"I have no idea what I was thinking when I bought this food. I must have been sleep deprived when I bought it all. I can see it me at the store completely out of it and buying pickled pig feet." 'I hope that works.' I went back to the fridge and started to dig around to see what other weird things Yoruichi had in her fridge. After a few seconds I pulled out a bottle of Okkikunare. I looked at it with a blank look on my face. I put it back while muttering "Yoruichi you are one of the last people that needs to drink that." I then discovered she had quite a collection of beer in her fridge. I dug a can out.

"Bilk? It's 100 percent disgusting." 'Unless you can change into a cat.' Also Pepsi produces some interesting flavors in Japan. "Ice cucumber? Pineapple and lemon? Yogurt!" Did you know that there are not one, not two, but three types of cheese drinks in Japan? They're all called NEEDS cheese drink. Yoruichi had all three in her fridge. That's when I stumbled upon it. It looked like a milk carton. On the side it said 'Coolpis. Kimichi Flavor.' I knew what Kimichi was. Fermented cabbage and hot peppers. I should have put it back immediately but something in my brain was keeping me from doing so. It was like digging in the fridge in Persona 4.

"You have found a carton of Kimichi drink... Drink it?" Yes/No

- Yes

I slowly opened the carton, took a deep breathe, brought it to my lips and- "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THAT IS THE NASTIEST THING I HAVE EVER TASTED IN MY LIFE AND IN THE WOMB!" I remember nearly throwing up right there and then and I did drop the carton to the floor. I started to scrambled in the fridge to find something, anything to rinse the taste out of my mouth. I grabbed a can opened it and started to rapidly drink it. I empty about half the can before I stopped. I then swished the liquid in my mouth the really taste it, then I swallowed. I then actually read the can that I was holding. The can said 'Water salad.'. Despite the name it didn't taste like a salad. It was more of a light fruit punch drink. This raises the question as to why it was called that but I didn't care at the time. Normally I would have picked something more like a cola but compared to the Kimichi drink it was heavenly. I finished up the can I was drinking, put the empty can on the counter, ("Have no idea where the recycling bin is here.") and then grabbed a second can from the fridge. I now needed to clean up the spilled Kimichi drink. I thought for a second of using Yoruichi to mopped it up but I then realized that I would just get scratched. Also a cat isn't that absorbent. And no you can't know why I know how much a cat can absorb. 'Wait. Yoruichi beat me to it. She's licking it from the floor. She's done a rather remarkable job in cleaning it up.' I just picked up that carton and glanced at the bowl of milk. She had already completely drained that too. And when I looked back at her she had completely gotten it all off the floor and was now licking her lips. At that I nearly threw up in my mouth. I quickly opened the can of Water salad and started to drink it. 'That washed the taste of bile from my mouth.' After I recovered I just looked at Yoruichi who looked at me. After a few seconds of staring I bent over and started to pet her. No matter what petting a cat will calm anyone down. Unless you're very allergic. In that case you break out in a rash. After about a minute I hear a "We're ready!" coming from the second bedroom. I say to Yoruichi "Apparently it's not only dress up time but also Show and Tell." Yoruichi cocked her head to the side. I assumed that was confusion. I seriously doubt they had show and tell growing up in a Noble house in Soul Society. Anyway I picked up Yoruichi, grabbed my drink, and started to head to the second bedroom. While doing so a thought popped into my head. 'I have a beautiful women in my arms. Admittedly she is a cat right now.'

Well I got into the room only to find that neither Orihime nor Tatsuki were in the room. I put Yoruichi on the bed. After looking around for a second and still not finding them I said, "Okay. Where are you guys?" I heard a slightly muffled "We're girls you idiot." This was then followed by a quiet "Tatsuki you'll spoil the surprise!" I rolled my eyes at that and said out loud "Gee they couldn't possibly be in the huge walk-in closet." Did you know that recently we've invented an actual sarcasm meter? If it had been in that room it would have exploded. I hear a quiet "Well I blew the surprise." I then hear a louder "Okay we're coming out." I see the closet door open, I took a sip of 'Water Salad', they step out, and I damned nearly choked on it. Why? Well it was what Orihime was wearing. Orihime decided to wear Yourichi's normal outfit. The skin tight black spandex suit that she wears with the orange coat. In this case she was wearing it sans orange coat. So the tight fabric was doing interesting things to her anatomy. Then add in the fact that I was seeing it in real life as opposed to only on paper or on the screen, and I was starting to feel like a dirty old man while only being nineteen. Through sheer force of will I managed to tear my eyes from Orihime to Tatsuki and nearly burst out laughing. Tatsuki decided to wear something a bit more practical She had decided to wear Yoruichi's Shinigami robes and Captain jacket? What do you call that thing anyway? The problem with this is that Yoruichi was at least a good head taller then her and more... developed. This lead to the effect of the robes and jacket looked rather baggy on her frame. Her hands didn't even make it completely out of the sleeves. When she saw the look on my face she said "What? What's so funny?" I responded "You. You're a pair of over sized high heels and some badly applied make-up from looking like a seven year old in her mother's clothing." Tatsuki gave me a flat look and said "Do you think you can do better?"

At that I stopped smiling and got a haunted look on my face. "The last time that happened no one came out that one without some mental scars... Poor Richie. He still needs to be heavily medicated." Total Hogwash of course. I don't even know a Richie. As for me being in woman's clothing? Never have. I know that I would make one hell of an ugly woman. Anyway Tatsuki rolled her eyes at me, not buying the story for a second. Orihime just smiled. She didn't believe it either but she didn't want to be rude. After that Tatsuki was talking with Orihime about the other clothing they wanted to try on and Yoruichi was curled up on the bed in a patch of light on it. So I was left without anything to do. And as I got bored by thoughts started to wonder. 'So why do I have so many boxes here. Is this my stuff from home? The stuff that 'Adam Tenpenny' was in this universe? Are some of them just empty boxes? Does one have the Box Ghost in it? He is the master of all boxes.' At boxes something jolted in my brain. 'Speaking of boxes there was something odd about the one by the door but what was it? Something about it that I should remember- Oh Shit!' My brain finally put two and two together and thought it got four but needed me to double check its' work. 'I need to see what's in that box.' I started to think of ways to get out of there. "I think I left the fridge on-Open!" 'Real smooth there you schmuck!' All three of them were staring at me. I quickly shuffled to the door and left, closing it behind me. Once I knew that it was tightly closed I ran to the entryway.

I ran down the hallway and had to skitter to a halt to prevent myself from running into the box. I looked at the box. To be specific what was written in bold red lettering on the side. It's only because I am an idiot that I didn't catch it the first time. "It is what I thought it was!" I then quickly teared open the box. Inside was... A DEAD BODY!... Not really. Inside the box was a whole bunch of manga volumes and DVD cases. Normally that would be fine since I have quite a bit of both of them. However the writing on the side of this box said, as said before in bold red letters, "BLEACH". Inside the box the box was, from what I could quickly count, was every Bleach volume, and every DVD that was out in English. I paused from my panic for a second to think, 'So I have the Bleach volumes while I'm in the Bleach universe. Kinda Meta there.' I stopped myself before I got stuck in another one of my internal tangents. Now I needed to figure out where to hide these. 'Okay first step. Get them out of sight.' I packed up the box again, picked it up, and started to head towards my bedroom to hide it. As I started to run down the hallway the door to the second bedroom opened. Tatsuki stuck her head outside the door. She glanced at me, then at the box, then at me again and asked,

"What's with the box?" "Ummm..."

"Why are you running?" "Ummmm..."

"Why are you so nervous about the box?" "Ummmmm..." 'Think of an excuse! Any excuse!" "It's...Not...Porn?" Not the best excuse but it still a rather good one. Tatsuki was looking at me with a flat look on her face. I however was looking at Orihime through the door. She had Yoruichi above her head and saying "Super Kitty to the rescue!" Yoruichi was being a good sport. I personally think that she was enjoying it. Tatsuki then said "What is it with teenage boys and porn?" I really wanted to say 'Please I know women that are just as bad if not worse then men when it comes to porn. I think that one of them has at least 10 gigs of it on her laptop.' But I bit my tongue. However right around that point Orihime said "But Tatsuki, what about that box that you're having me hold on to while your mom is cleaning your room?" 'Vindicated!' Before that moment I don't think I have ever seen a person go that shade of red. Tatsuki turned towards the room "Orihime!" I used that opportunity to run into my room.

I got into my room and shut the door behind me. I started to look around the room to find somewhere to put the box. 'Think! Think! Think!... I know! The dresser! I never put clothes in there.' I rushed towards the dresser and opened up the main drawer. I couldn't squeeze the box in there so I ripped open the box and poured the contents into the drawer. Once the box was emptied I shut the drawer and let out a sigh of relief.

"Crisis averted!"That's when I started to look around the room. It was my room from back home. Well almost. Since I have a basement room the two windows where at the ceiling. Here they were full length ceiling windows. 'Man those are going to be a pain to clean.' I remember thinking that. I started to wonder how you cleaned those, 'Do you use Windex? I mean those are going to be rather hard to clean. What if a bird hits them?' when I hear "So what's in the box?" Apparently I got distracted enough to let Tatsuki sneak up behind me without me noticing. Also I did not jump at all when she did so. I turned around to face her. I was going to say "What box?" but thought better of it. No need to insult both of our intelligences. Instead I said

"I'll show you after you show me what's in your box that Orihime is holding."

"...Never mind then." She started to walk out of the room while looking a bit defeated. I know that she'll try to sneak a peak later. I need to figure out a better way to store them.

Anyway after she left I checked to make sure it was secure enough when a thought hit me. 'I'm going to have to fill the box with porn now aren't I?' You see if Tatsuki would later check the box and find it empty she would then go off and look to see where I hid the 'goods'. And once she would do that it was only a matter of time before she would find the Bleach material and that would be bad in every way possible. I started to think about what to fill it with. 'I'm officially 16 here so I can't 'legally' buy porn though I don't think anyone is really going to care. And if I do it through the Internet it should be rather easy. Now the main problem is getting stuff that I know will be seen.' You see the problem is that mostly you fill a porn stash with what you want. The problem here is that this is a decoy stash that I know someone will find. So I need to fill it with 'gentleman's literature' that is not embarrassing or weird and none of the people can look too much like anyone in Bleach. And seeing as the female cast of Bleach does run the gambit through all body types, skin colors, and hair colors that was rather tricky. 'I think I may have to get old copies of Playboys, Under the Bed Monthy's, and Big 'Uns. Rather tame and somewhat mainstream. Maybe some Adult visual novels, and dating Sims. Just to throw off the trail. I wonder if Katawa Shoujo got finished and published in this universe.' I got knocked out of my thoughts by the sound of Tatsuki yelling "Are you going to help unpack this or not?"

"I'm coming!" I put the box in the closet and hoped that I would have enough time to figure out a way to hide it. I then made my way to the living room. Thankfully the two of them had put back on their normal clothes and were waiting for me. Apparently when I spaced out it was enough time for them to change. Tatsuki had opened a box that contained disassembled furniture and was reading through the instructions. And Orihime was raiding the fridge. And had found the red bean paste and pork buns. Any as to Yoruichi? She was acting as a cat and lying in the sunlight.

"Lazy cat." I muttered to myself. "Hey! You going to help me with this dinner table or not?" "I'm coming Tatsuki."

Well I can tell you putting the furniture went as well as it does at any other household. Which means not well at all. "Move it your left. No your other left!"

"This is my other left!"

"Are these important?" Tatsuki and I look at Orihime who was holding two bolts. The second we noticed that, the table legs on my side buckled and my side landed on my foot.

"Goddamn it! My Foot!" I hopped across the room, tripped over another box and landed on the floor. After a few seconds Orihime walked over to me.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm just going to lie here for a while and clot."

"Okay. Hey Orihime? Lets take a break from the furniture and put away some of the boxes."

"Okay."

Now this seems like it would have been a smart idea to do this. However the content of some of the boxes were...odd. I mean it started off normally but it got really odd really fast.

"Where do you want this box of towels?" "In the bathroom of course."

"Why is there a box full of silverware here?" "What's in it?" "Just sporks." "Put it in the kitchen."

"Adam?" "Yes?"

"Why is there a box of women's underwear in your living room." That one caused me to get up. I managed to pick up my battered body and limped over to the box. In it was indeed a collection of women's underwear and lingerie for all occasions. I looked at Tatsuki with a deadpan look on my face and said "It's collection of underwear from all of my sexual conquests. I was planning to add you and Orihime to it by the end of today." Tatsuki then gave me a deadpan look right back and said "I seriously doubt that." I raised an eyebrow "And why would that be?" She shrugged. "You don't come off as the sleazy type at all. Besides," she continued "It's all the same size."

"Just put it into the second bedroom. If you find anything else that obviously isn't mine put that in there too."

I was getting a glass of water when I heard Tatsuki say "Ow! Damnit!" Apparently she also tripped over a box. Then a vibrating sound started to come from the box. I just turned the corner as Tatsuki opened the box. She then quickly closed the box, and with her face red said "I'm just going to put these in the second bedroom."

"What's in here? Manga!" I heard Orihime ask then shout. I turned to see her rather excitedly digging out a volume of Death Note. I mentally sweat dropped at that. Orihime started to flip open the book and then got a confused look on her face. "It's in English?"

"Yes Orihime. I may be able to read, write, and speak Japanese perfectly but all of my books would be in English since I'm from America."

"You're from America? I thought you were British. I mean Adam Tenpenny sounds like you would be a member of the House of Lords. Or a Doctor Who companion..." Orihime drifted off into another daydream.

"Look Out! Daleks! Oh no! Cybermen! Here's the Doctor to save the day with his sonic screwdriver! Oh No! That isn't a Cyberman! It's The Stig! Run Doctor!" I face-palmed. "Just put those in my room."

"Why is there nothing but Ballpit balls in here?" "That was an idea that never really got off the ground."

"What?"

"We were trying to turn my room into a ball pit but we ran out of money. So now I have about four boxes full of them... I think I can turn the second bedroom into one." The sad thing is just might now. I know where I can buy them in bulk, and my parents aren't there to stop me from doing so. Besides you never know when a whole bunch of ballpit balls would come in handy. Of course through this entire thing Tatsuki was staring at me like I had grown a second head and Orihime then exclaimed "That's a great idea!" Tatsuki then look at her "Not you too!"

"Come on Tatksuki that's a great idea! I haven't been in one since I got stuck at the playground." Tatsuki face palmed at that. "I remember that. You got stuck half way through an enclosed plastic slide and I had to go down to push you down." Tatsuki continued. "Then Chad decided to go down and they had to call the fire department to get him out." She was still going. "Thankfully Ichigo didn't want to go down one but Keigo then shoved him and and Ichigo landed on his head at the bottom. Then he gets up and throws him into the ballpit and we all get banned from that place. And the entire time Mizuiro is hitting on the girl behind the counter and gets the Grand Prize, a giant Teddy bear, and gives that to Chad." At this I was the one staring. "Really?"

"Yes! I'll admit that was one of our more outrageous moments but it did happen." I blinked and said "Okay..." And I walked away to do something else. In the next room.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE A BOX WITH HANDCUFFS AND A BLOODY MACHETE IN IT!"

"It's a prop box." I yelled from the next room. "The Machete is plastic. Handcuffs are the cheap kind you get at grocery's store toy section."

"Oh... Sorry for accusing you of being a murderer."

"It's okay. Happens more then you think."

After we managed to get everything unpacked we then started to work on unpacking the furniture. Unlike the table we managed to get all of the furniture unpacked and assembled without any troubles. After we managed to get everything unpacked we sat down on the couch rather tired. "What time is it?"

"I think it's 5 o'clock?"

"We've been at this for eight hours now?"

"I think so..." At that I yawned "Man I'm tired."

"Me too."

"Nap Time." Orihime had a good idea with that. I set my head back into the couch and closed my eyes... just for a few minutes...

*CRUNCH*

"AHHH!"

"MRRROWWW!" A loud crunching sound and a falling sensation woke me up. Before I could even get my wits about me a sharp pain erupted across my face.

"My knee!"

"Your knee Tatsuki? What about my face?"

"Sorry! Where's Orihime?"

"I'm on the floor! I fell and landed on the cat... The cat's fine too."

"Oh that's good... What time is it?"

"It time to get your knee out of my face."

"Sorry!" At that she finally got off me and crawled off the wreckage of the couch. Once she did so I rolled off and stumbled around. "Why is it so dark out?" At that point I heard a rather loud "SHIT!" coming from the kitchen. Before I could even get in a word it continued "SHIT! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!... SHIT!" I duly asked "What's the matter?" A somewhat hysterical Tatsuki came out of the kitchen and started to pace back and forth. "It's 4:30 in the morning! My dad is going to be home in 45 minutes and he'll see that I'm not there and I'll get get in a lot of trouble and-" I interrupted her before she could continue and get even more hysterical. " Why can't you just walk home? I mean even if you get jumped you could easily take down any one that jumps you."

Tatsuki looked at me. "While that is true, but what happens when the police noticed the teenage girl in wrinkly clothing, running through the streets at 4:30 in the morning, that just screams Rape or attempted Rape victim! Then if I try to explain it that would make matters worse and they would have to call my father either way!" I then started to look around the room to think of an idea. Eventually I glanced at the coffee table that came with the apartment. I saw that my keys were lying right there on it. I rolled my eyes and grabbed them. I was going to put them in my pocket before I noticed something. I then more carefully looked at my keys. I then grinned. "I got an Idea." Tatsuki just looked at me. "Really?" I nodded, made a follow me motion and said "Kommen meine angemessene Dame!"

"So why are we in the street?" Tatsuki asked. "Just watch." I raised up my key chain and pressed a button on it. A horn honked twice with headlight following down the street. "You have a car?" "Apparently." Tatsuki just looked at me in disbelief. Again. I started to walk over to the car. Tatsuki followed. I got into the car and Tatsuki got in the passenger side and we both buckled up.

"You can drive this right?" "Sure." "Sure is not a reassuring answer." I didn't answer. I just pulled out. And hit a Van. Tatsuki just stares at me in amazement. "You Idiot! You just hit a van." She looks through the rear window while continuing to lecture me. "I can't believe you are so reckless that you... Oh... never mind" She turned back and faced be. "I know the guy that owns that van. He's 40 years old, and hits on Orihime all the time creepily. Just watch where you're going." I had just managed to get on to the road and started to drive.

"So how do I get to your house from here?" "Take a left here and -YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!" "Sorry. You guys drive on the left over here don't you?"

"Okay just keep going straight. Once he get past Ichigo Family's Clinic you take a right to then keep going straight until I tell you stop." "Got it."

I manged to not hit anything until we got to the clinic. As we passed it I saw it. It was this hideous thing that was passing itself off as a garden gnome. It was an abomination to everything that had every existed and ever would exist. It proved that the Devil existed and that God didn't. I remember that I started screaming, hit the accelerator and jerked the wheel violently and aimed straight for it. All the while Tatsuki is screaming in the seat next to me. The gnome was about six inches from the door to the clinic. Somehow I managed to hit the brake, swing the car around 180 degrees, hit the gnome with the tailgate to shatter it, and not hit the clinic. I like to think that God had given me the skills of the Stig to remove such a great evil from the universe. Or it could just the adrenaline. Either or. I manged to get out of the courtyard just as the lights in the clinic started to turn on. I then turned back onto the street and then turned right where Tatsuki told me to. Speaking of Tatsuki that's when she started to come out of her daze. "What the hell did you do that for! You could've gotten us killed and wrecked Ichigo's house!" "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just saw this garden gnome the represented all that was wrong with the world and I had to destroy it." Tatsuki continued her lecture. "I can't believe you would do something so idiotic and- Wait did you say Garden Gnome?" I got confused at this point. "Yes, why?" "We've been trying to get rid of that thing for years now. Every time he has been able to deflect any attempts to destroy it. Ichigo at one point set fire to it but it wouldn't burn. We were told we needed to get a holy man to get rid of such evil." 'Best not to mention the fact I'm an Ordinated Minister.' I thought to myself. After a few minutes of silence we managed to get to Tatsuki's house. I turned off the headlights to not wake up her mother. She said a quiet "Thank You." and got out of the car. She snuck up to her house, jumped over the gate, and started to climb up the the side using a drainage pipe to a second story window. She then carefully opened it, climbed in, and then slowly shut it behind herself. After I was satisfied she made it I started to go back the way I came and turned on my headlights. I drove in a straight line for a few minutes before making the turn next to the Clinic. When I turned the corner I was greeted by this sight. Isshin was in the courtyard, on his knees, in Naruto pajamas for some reason, holding the remains of his gnome while crying. Behind him was Ichigo in the door way who, and I kid you not, was smiling. The shock over that caused me to nearly miss my turn and I had to quickly correct myself to make my turn. Which caused me to run a red light, which caused a police car to pull me over. "Great. How do I get out of this one?... I know!" When he comes over to talk to me I get a big smile on my face and say "Hallo Offizier. Warum gezogen Sie mich vorbei?" This causes the officer to just stare at me. I continued in a rather cheerful voice. "Es ist ein großes Morgennr? Warum liebe ich den frühen Morgen ja?" He continues to stare at me then he waves me to just go. I said "Danke, zu befehligen, wem eine Ananas ist. Mögen Sie viele Krapfen finden!" and then I started to drive off. As I drove back to the apartment I idly wondered if my accent sounded like I had a couple of socks stuffed in my mouth or if I was merely dropped on my head as a child to a native German speaker. I manged to get back to the apartment without incident. I parked the car in the street, locked all the doors to it and started to make my way back to the apartment. I was in the security light for the apartments when I say a butterfly pass by. "Huh. That's cool. I've never seen a completely black butterfly before. Wait it was some maroon markings on...the...back... Oh carp." It was a Hell Butterfly. I quickly looked around. I saw it. It was a figure on a nearby building. I couldn't see more than a vague outline due to security light that I was in but there was no mistaking it. It was a Shinigami. And it was staring right at me. As I looked I felt an overwhelming feeling that I knew that person for some reason. The person then jumped off the building and vanished. I shook my head to clear it. "Great. I can see spirits now. Guess I can't just plug my ears and cover my eyes and pretend that nothing is happening."

* * *

(? P.O.V.)

I stopped on a roof top to take a look around. It had been awhile since I had been here. I looked down and spotted my Hell butterfly fly past someone under a light. I swore the person was looking right at me and I had the Strange but strong feeling I knew him. Before I had time to investigate I felt Rukia's spirit energy spike as I felt a decently powerful Hollow appear and I jumped off the building and flash stepped to the battle field even if I wasn't needed.

* * *

Ending Notes: Well here we are. I finally got Chapter 2 done. It was suppose to be done about a month ago but real life (School, Finals, and general laziness) kept getting in the way. The next chapter will get done much faster(**Hopefully**). The German is curiosity of Babelfish. I wrote most of this but Grayheart did the last bit and the editing. Within a few more chapters she should be writing her own chapters soon. Anyway till next time.**Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!**


	3. Alert

Subject: some one found the sourse of the purge i'm just telling people about it

Urgent Announcement!

I have have received the following from Vandenbz

Help spread the word!

Here's some info I got from a reviewer named Rei concerning those responsible.

The source of the purge has been found. A group of regular FF users, Critics United, will post any story they don't like on their forum. Then they have all their members mass report it until the story is deleted. In their forum they say they hope to cause another purge soon.

They are not critics; they are bullies. They do not offer constructive criticism; they flame and poke fun. They like to call stories sh¡tfics, and call authors whose story they got deleted 'immature' and 'likely to b¡tch at them.' They often use heavy sarcasm and condescension in their supposed 'constructive criticism.'

The head of Critics United has MA sex scenes in her stories.

Copy and Paste.

Spread the word.


End file.
